as you roll over, i feel your hand against my side…

the warmth feels so nice, i can feel your essence through your touch.

i long for that feeling, the closeness we have or even had…

it’s like the musical of night and day.

your hand on my side, it keeps me warm in my insomniac kind of madness…

for a moment within my random thoughts, i just feel your hand brush up against my side.

it reminds me of our closeness…

the twitchin of your dreams, it brings me around and away from my drunken thinking, only to remind me that you’re still here beside me.

are you really still there?

i feel myself, i feel your touch, your warmth, your sleep…

it’s 3am and i still just dream of you while i’m awake and while you’re asleep.

i feel the discontentment within me, of our being, our opposite life…

you’re awake and yet, i’m not there.

or is it just the opposite?

the moon is almost full…

i feel closer to the rising stars than i do to you anymore.

occasional “hello” and ” what is your plan today” and “how was your day”…

well, maybe not even the consideration of the simple “how was…”

god…

where am i going? where do i really belong? the smiles are short lived and partings are left for longing.

do i weigh what i have, against what i want? dare should i?!?

nothing thus far is where i’ve wanted to be, but, it is where i am and it is what i already have…

none of which is what i really want or have dreamed of…

i once was the kind of person, of whom, moved on quickly from those who waste my time in gettin to where i need to be, want to be, dreamed to be.

maybe i need to go back to those times and re-find myself.

i long to be where i wanted to be…

- Neo E. Hinton

October 16, 2010

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