It’s become wonderful!!!!!

Straight from heart to heart. Those hair and eyes were killer but the poem is destroyer… Very Nice POEM… I love you writer

I think this is pretty good. However, I don’t like the second part.
Also – you referred to her as “you” in the first part but “her” in the second part. it threw me off a little
and finally, i dont think you should include the word “love” in the poem. show it, don’t tell it.

i like your poem, so deep,,

I didn’t like it…Too many people today think they can just throw some words on a paper and call it free verse poetry. What you’ve written are nice thoughts, however, so it’s a feel-good blog entry? Please in no way let this post discourage you, though. Others liked it

nothing personal, but i didn’t like it all that much. i mean it’s a great great idea. not just the idea of love, i think this author has some potential as well as this poem, but it needs a little work. i agree Hannah mostly, make sure your tenses agree (”you” then “her” thing [i like you better makes it more personal]) and about saying “love.” keep writing! i bet you’ll have some killer poems.

Nice poem Mustafa and very romantic, however, I can’t understand why you used third person (her) in the second part. (check my article “sleeping Beauty”.

I got into it.

Very nice, Mustafa. Very passionate.

The best lines in this are ‘I felt the love first/and death second’. The rest isn’t particularly moving. The hard thing about writing love poems is that it’s hard to say something that hasn’t already been said a billion times before in exactly the same way.

I like the phrase “I felt the love first and death second”. But ‘you’ in first part and ‘her’ in second part made me confused.

A short but touching poem.

Hannah said this: I think this is pretty good. However, I don’t like the second part.
Also – you referred to her as “you” in the first part but “her” in the second part. it threw me off a little.

This is my take on it:
When the voices came in, it was because the speaker had surrendered to those voices and they are now the ones speaking through the writer and they will always speak in the third person because they are the third party.
The writer himself felt love, but the voices or demons which he inclined his ear to spoke death. Demons always come to kill, steal and destroy.
What we listen to will eventually overtake us.

I loved it,
what some people said above is wrong, when people start rewriting and rewriting a poem to make it \\\”perfect\\\” they do just that they take away the charm of it the specialness about. This is straight from the heart. great job
KathySpring

Love it. Your first sight at this person is intense, feeling the love growing and the death as something in least of your ideals. This poem is amazingly beautiful.

Nice poem!

Keep plugging. A great start. Art is not called art until we say it’s so.

Nice poem.

I got into this poem. That one little glitch can be fixed, Lots of feelings here.

very nice

So beautiful and sweet.