Pain I feel…
Alone I sit…
not knowing why just you having a fit.
As the trees rustle outside
and their soft song I hear.
I wish I was dead
is what they say as I am lead.
Not wanting to Feel,
at any expense
I feel a break down coming on.
I am an emotion wreck, as my body shakes,
with out control I do fake.
I wonder how deep down is that pond?
Do I have enough pills to never wake up?
Can my blood flow from my wrists
without making a mess?
Don’t yell at my soul when I am too far gone
I just want to rest and not feel anything,
just be left alone.
If only my family would not weep if I died
Its not their fault I am thinking of suicide.
Life seems to lost meaning to me now I say,
Cover my head and be gone now I lay.
Will this alcohol consumed help me in this?
No I fear not nothing will, I confess.
These feeling I feel but I just cant let go,
Your dont have that power even when Iam so low.
Ill pull myself from this dark foreign place,
and look at the sun and not see your face.
Ill think of good things, memories felt
I will not give in to these things as I welt.
So open your arms and lift me up high,
I am not ready to rise up to the sky.
Ill open my heart and pray up to God in his bliss,
His promise will help me get through all of this.