Now me, and Max we shared a pad ‘ flat ‘

Some times I’d get stressed with Max

Other times I had to laugh

I had my girlfriend, and he had his

Some folks thought we lived in a

Harmonising bliss, but truth be told

Men behaving gladly is all it was.

.

Each Friday Max would home

To see his mum, and girlfriend

Leaving the coast clear for me, and my other half

To have a laugh amongst other things.

.

Last Monday evening I came home

Saw Max sitting in the milk mans yard

Reading his script.

‘ Have you left your key at your mums again’

‘ No its in my bag ‘

Good says It’s the last spare I had.

Now as I left for work in the morning after 6.15

Tuesday morning I put the Yale on the latch, and turned

The double mortice lock, got back home around 6 o’clock

There was Max with his jammies on pyjamas ‘

A Denis the menace outfit no less…

.

‘ You not on call today then Max ‘

‘ No I was on stand bye ‘

‘ Great for some on full pay  nice ‘

.

So Wednesday morning I get up put the

Yale back on the latch, turn the double mortice

Get on my way to work, by half past nine I get a call

From Trish who seems all upset, tells me I had best

Give young Max a call, it seems I had locked him in

For the bag he left the key’s in wasn’t in his room

It was on the filming set.

.

‘ Hi, Max what’s what with the keys? ‘

‘ OH I’m sorry Matt, it’s OK I can jump out the window ‘

‘ No Max! that would be all I need

To get sued by your film crew

Never mind your Mum!

Just wait there I’ll be over in 20 min’s ‘

.

Well, after that was all done, and said

The last thing I said that night

‘ You got your Key’s max? ‘

‘ Yeah man got them right here ‘

As he sips on his beer…

So, I get up on Thursday morning, Place the Yale back on the latch

Turn the double mortice, I turn, and look back when I reach the gate?

Naw he’ll be fine I say to my self, and head off for work .

.

When I got home there was a rather solemn faced young Max sitting

‘ Hi Matt did Trish call you up Today? ‘

‘ No why something wrong?? ‘

‘ Hmm well you know how that mortice lock on your door ‘

‘ Yes ‘

‘ Well I can’t turn that from the inside no more ‘

He then goes on to tell me how for the third day in a row

He found him self locked in behind my door, with time

Running out, and a film crew waiting on him

What does he do…

He takes a screaming tizzy fit kicking, and screaming at my door

Shouting at the top of his lungs let me out of here help kick!! kick !! kick!

Just then the milkman… my bone of contention need I mention I have three

Writs out on him to curtail his noise, yes you got it the milkman saved the day

As Max is screaming help let me out of here, and kicking the door

The milk mans head must have been going ten to the dozen

As to what was going on, he must have thought I had a prisoner or slave

Or something he opens the letter box and enquires

‘ Can I be of assistance to you sir ‘

‘ Yes, yes ‘

Screams Max, oh thank you that is three days in a row I, have been locked in here

Max passes the key out to the milkman who then sets him free.

Now that was all I needed to end my week the milkman getting one over me.