MELANCHOLY

Strange how the word holy is in melancholy

Further musings have brought into focus

Past romps through cemeteries

Alone never finding a brave soul to venture with

I would lie on the earth

Near the tombstones talking to the one

Mind reading

Eyes scanning the stars

Feeling perfectly safe

The most peaceful place on earth is the cemetery

Dead don’t argue

They only listen

I wish you were there like I have dreamed before

But I did not know your name back then

Or perhaps ii have been living on wishful thinking

I am a paradox

It is said no one really knows me

Or that it is difficult

I did not ask to be understood just loved

But how can you love what you cannot understand

I can

The harder it is to fathom

The more I want to love it

And at the same time I think not for me

But for him

And for her

And someone else much less complicated and uncluttered

I have no baggage

My child is not dead weight

Their policy of truth not mine

I clearly have been searching for you

But what do I have to offer

Doesn’t everyone want something tangible to bring to the table?

And I bring this extravagant thing that ends up costing too much

But it is supposed to be free

They call me beautiful

And I said how much will it cost me?

They said tainted crucified girl

I said can’t you taste the redemption?

And that brings me back to my resurrection from the cemetery

And if you were dead once than you must have known me

There is life surging within me

But the contract remains unfulfilled

I am spoiled…used to having my way

 Humility feels good

Vanity cannot speak anymore

What for?

My love is eternal or forgets it

That is my price

Eternity

Communion of flesh and family but the world cannot grasp this

I will die for him metaphorically to fulfill the contract physically

His darkness for my light which has not grown dim

It shimmers in your dreams leading you back

Seeing what is underneath the struggle with lust

I do not perceive any rest until the blessed day

Give me one day

Smiling wanly through the incident

If it slips and misses I want you cloned

Sweet woman child ranting that make sense.

© Frangelica