Today I asked for a miracle 

From where I didn’t know

From who I had no clue

From what I wasn’t sure

Everything is such a blur

A blur of dreamlike scenes flowing through my head

A blur of words I can’t really remember

A blur of actions I wish hadn’t been real

Cuts on my arm that quickly heal

Maybe the physical pain exists

But I can’t feel it past the pain in my soul that constantly persists

I have been very good at blocking it all out

I focus on today and what must be done

Focus on the hour-

That’s more realistic

Focus on the minute-

Time goes by so fast

My life is changing constantly

Nothing ever lasts

Every time I think I that I can relax 

And get some kind of rest

Quickly I am put through another test

Allowed no time to rest

How can I be at my best

I’m so freakin tired

My mind and soul are wearing thin

Some how I have to muster up the strength to do it all again

But I’ve reached the point now

That I can’t do it all alone

I am waiting desperately for some new answer to be shown

I’ve fought and fought to keep what I created

A home

A real one

This is everything that I have for so long waited

That condo was mine

It was from the start

Losing it has completely broken my heart

I’m not sure if from this one I’ll recover

I don’t think anyone else realizes how much my soul truly suffers

I should have learned this lesson a long time ago

No one else really gives a shit what happens to me or where I go

It’s a lonely feeling once you realize this fact

You’d think by now I’d have learned

How not to get attached

Even those I consider family 

Have turned their backs

Family?

Really?

What the hell is that?

Although I don’t understand such things

I do find the concept interesting…