Monitoring The Condition Of The Marriage After An Affair.
No one ever said it was going to be a piece of cake fixing the marital relationship following unfaithfulness. You still cherish your mate and have no desire to end the relationship. Your significant other feels the same way. They made a mistake yet really want to do everything possible to mend the damage.
That’s commendable but you can’t help but think to yourself why your spouse did not consider this before making the decision to cheat. No matter how hard they are trying to make things right their actions have placed the marriage in a huge hole. Apart from dealing with the broken trust after cheating there is also the overwhelming emotional pain.
You cannot eliminate the negative thoughts from your mind or just the fact that your own self-esteem has taken a serious hit. You really feel as if you are going insane but nevertheless you are determined to get past this in order to save your marriage. But at this juncture you must take a step back to consider are your efforts really working?
There are some indicators that can help you significantly in tracking your progress.
With regards to marriage following an affair, the conversation between you and your spouse can be very strained. This is not surprising. But, if the most of the conversations turn into shouting matches then there is certainly still a long way to go. The two of you made the choice to remain together therefore fixing two way communication is essential.
No doubt your feelings will consume you every now and then. You want your mate to understand what their careless behavior did to you. However if that is the way it is going to be from now on then healing the relationship after an affair will be virtually impossible.
2. The Decider
What your spouse did was wrong. Regrettably you stretch that out to every phase of the relationship. You feel it is your birthright to pass sentence on everything they say and do. In a twisted way their unfaithfulness has given you a sense of power you never experienced before. Their infidelity is the green light you needed to take over the marriage.
The two timing wife or husband might go along with this out of guilt but the odds are it won’t last. After a while they will shake it off and return to their old ways. Yes you have every right to feel the way you do but you still have to exercise some sort of balance with regards to the overall relationship.
You wonder why should you be the one to sacrifice anything after an affair. Yet if you are looking to restore the relationship there will be occasions when you have to take a deep breath and practice a little humility for the good of the marriage.
If you see your spouse getting overwhelmed by many of their family responsibilities then help them out. Whether they deserve your help is not the point. The point is you’re saying to your mate as well as to yourself that the two of you are in it together. That is a powerful signal that this marital relationship following an affair is on its way to recovery.
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