I was told by my college that everything from finances will be alright.

Once I reach the school.

I felt like a fool.

cause that day they said Mr.scott, you have another loan application to do.

I said to them you said everything was alright.

Did I have to fill out another loan? thats what I ask them twice.

I didn’t fill out another loan but still going to that college felt like a good move.

I still wanted to go to that college because I didn’t want to lose.

my college was out of state.

I had to move on campus, so i thought me being away from my parents would be great.

I thought If i didn’t have my parents to hold my hand I could really grow.

A promise by my school that my loans would pay my apartment bills

knowing the bill was $589 a month, I said this can’t be real!!!

It was so real and knowing really that my loan didn’t pay for my apartment.

Imagine at the time how I feel

only thing i had was financial aid

so I add that to my grandmother money to help me pay my way.

I look for a job but know one wanted to hire.

I had a job but for no reason I was fired.

I couldn’t believe it I was so stress.

I tell you truth, I was a mess.

I felt so weak at the time.

All these thoughts of negativity going in my mind.

What a day, what a day.

It got worts not knowing how my bills get paid.

my grandmother begin to satart paying the bills for me.

It seems that all was concern about was me.

it was like my goals.

my future.

my life.

how sleep i was, how wrong from thinking right.

I eventually move back to my grandmother house.

she told me that she was behind paying her bills, my heart just stop.

I ask was it because of me she said (yes) and my heart just drop.

oh why oh why lord.

why couldn’t i see.

it’s all because of me.

It’s all my fault,it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault.