This is my how to guide on what to do when you lose everything. step one: when he tells you he doesnt love you anymore, don’t panic. its perfectly normal to freeze from the inside out. Embrace your broken heart like you would a baby.Embrace your broken body and repat after me, you are loved. when he tells you he wants a divorce, dont cry Paint on your best warrior face and stand tall. Remember this moment because you will never have a moment like this again. step two: so now hes your exhusband. he got the dogs, the house, and the big, sexy truck. But you have something more important. His email account and his credit card information. so use it sister! go ahead, and tell all of his futre girlfriends that he has a small heart and a small penis. get him that hairclub for men membership you have always wanted to get him. sign him up for all those hooked on phonics offers. Its about time he learns how to spell all of those nasty insults he’s been texting you. step three: go on vacation to arizona. hug a palm tre. go swimming in october. spend time with your crazy mom. spend time with your crazy brother. Remember this. Becaus eyou will never have a trip like this again. step four: educate yourself. go back to college to get your graduate degree after ten years teach those college kids a lesson or two. Walk around using long, pretentios words like soliloquy and pretentious. read relationships for dummies. find out exactly what you did wrong and never do it again. step five: recover. take deep breaths, look in the mirror and say, im worth it i will live a happy life again. write your favorite mantra , dead solid perfect, in lipstick on every mirror in your apartment.because you are dead solid perfect just the way you are. Walk into the sunlight and smile. Flirt a little. Find a hot, young man. Find a hot, young woman. Find a hot, young you.