You know what I think love is?Love is this passion, this spark, this chemical reaction in your brain that just envelops you. And it’s all due to one person. Your whole body can feel it. It’s like this tingly emotion you feel everywhere, when you see them, when they IM you, when you hear their voice. It makes you want to sacrifice every fibre of your being for their sake, to save them, to make them happy. You can’t stand seeing them in pain, and would do literally anything for them if you could. The person you love becomes embedded in your mind, a part of you. A part of you that will tug at your mind, a part that can’t stand being away from them. A part that makes you want to hold their hand, cuddle with them, and just let your body do what it wants. To let your instincts take control, and do so passionately. This love makes you want to spend endless nights just talking, thinking, sharing, with the person you love. You’d give up your sleep for them, your health. And when they love you back, it just gives you this complete feeling. You feel their pain, their sorrow, their past, their struggle. They’re your closest friend, but they’re something more. There’s a spark, chemistry, that makes them unique from everyone else. Their smile, their eyes, their laugh, their personality, it just tugs at your heart. And it resonates with you all the time. They make you smile, and they make you laugh. They’re awkward, and honest, and caring with you. They are themselves around you, and you are yourself around them. An almost sacred bond between you two. They make it all worthwhile. Oh, but you know what? Sometimes what’s paradise isn’t always like paradise. You fight, like siblings, and do so with fierce emotion. You see, the course of true love, or any love for that matter, never has and never will be smooth. It’s the bumps that make it all the worthwhile. The silly fights, where you’re basically at each other’s throats with a knife, but neither of you will cut the other, you just love each other too goddamn much. But there’s also a catch. Sometimes these feelings don’t last forever. One of you might fall out of love, one of you may have never loved the other at all, one of you may have moved on without you, found their spark with someone else.
And it hurts like hell. You just want to rip your heart out and just take all the pain away. You want to curl up and cry, succumb to nothing. That need to not exist, at least for a little while. You’ve become so invested it begins to eat at you. That love you feel isn’t being returned, and you sit there wondering what you did wrong. What’s wrong with you. You feel alone, and nobody can seem to reach you no matter how hard they try. And you begin to self-destruct. And this whole time, you still want them even after all the heartbreak. You still want them, even though they’re destroying you. They’re your wine, intoxicating and amazing, but potentially fatal. You still want them, and they’re not even yours anymore, or maybe, they never were, but you still want them anyway. You’re this empty shell of a person and they seem to be getting along just fine, and you’re filled with this fiery hatred, but you can’t even hate them, your love for them won’t let you hate them. And in the end you’re still left wondering what the hell happened, how you got this far, and where, oh where did things go wrong. And you hate yourself for it. You always think it’s you, not them. They’re too perfect, too lovable to take the blame. This love can build or destroy you, and all this happens from just a chemical reaction in your mind.
Love’s all in your mind, but it’s the most real emotion you’ll ever feel, and once you have, you’ll want more, yet all the meantime hate it just as much as you love them.
It’s funny how all this can happen from one person.
One person who just happened to be your world.
… And the worst part, they don’t seem to notice just how much they affect you.
And here you are, empty-handed.
Alone.Tired.Depressed.Spiteful.Angry.Negative.Hurt.Destroyed.Irritable.Emotional.
Because of them.
And it’s all their fault.
But you won’t ever say a thing.You never do.You’d never want to hurt them.After all, you love them, don’t you?
And this happens so many times.You always think this next one’s the one.“She’s perfect.” “He and I will be together forever.”“I love him.” “I love her.”
“I love you.”
But are you sure you really mean it?
One day, they might be the one in your position.The one crying.The one hurt.Destroyed.Hateful.Depressed.Because you changed on them.
And there you are doing exactly what was done to you.It’s kind of funny.And like them, you never notice.You never care.You’re just like them.But hey, there’s always someone else…Maybe.Maybe you will find someone.Maybe you won’t.Maybe love doesn’t exist at all.It’s all in your mind after all.Maybe you’ve gone insane.…Maybe I’ve gone insane.Love drove me to it.