I was little, but I was no fool.

I saw mommy’s praise as gold, but daddy’s as platinum.

Though I clung to my mother’s side in every daily chore, I always had a secret.

I wanted to be a Daddy’s girl.

When daddy would scream, I was petrified to speak for fear I had shamed myself.

I wanted his aproval in everything I did.

One day, we were putting up a fence for our dogs.

Daddy had the fence one way, but I thought it would be better to have it the other way.

We had a couple small dogs who could get out with the big openings on the bottom.

So I told daddy.

I glowed with pride as daddy told me, “Now that is thinking like a man.”

Daddy had always wanted a boy, but he got me and my two sisters.

I did everything I could to get his attention.

Momma always said he was proud of me and I asked her if it would kill him to say it.

She said no, but daddy wasn’t into that mushy stuff.

When momma told me that.

I knew how to impress daddy.

I had to be tough like a guy.

Handy like a guy, but still…I had to be a girl for my momma.

I was her baby.

It was a hard feat to keep impressing them both.

But it was all well worth it.

When I was a senior, daddy said the golden phrase.

I about fainted to hear it from him.

I wanted to hear it again.

But then again, it was an addiction for me.

I was hooked after the first time.

So I pushed hard.

Then harder.

To do better than I had in the first place that had gotten his attention.

I called him recently, against my first wish.

My daddy liked strength, but I was in a weak state.

My fiance insisted talking to my dad would help me out.

So I started texting, and crying.

I was ashamed to try to talk to him weak.

When I called him though, to my shock he was not angry.

Instead he told me to be strong, keep my head up.

I loved him and his approval was like getting and emperor’s approval to me.

Here I sat talking to him.

The image of a peasant kneeling before the emperor in mind.

I always wanted to be a Daddy’s girl.

It was my little secret.

To this day I still strive to impress my father.

I love him deeply, just as I did my momma.

I crave for his acceptance of who I am on a daily basis.

I want to be a daddy’s girl.

I love you daddy.

2011 Unpublished work. © by Rebbecca Abernathy.