A smile so big, a smile so bright, a smile so delicious && full of delight. I love to smile, grin, giggle, && laugh. but my smile comes nothing close to telling how much hurt my heart really has. though at that moment things may seem okay. thoughts of happiness just make my good mood go away. my smile hides all the sadness, anger, && bruises. life keeps beating me up, never asking for any truces.

I used to be full of spirit, happiness && joy. but as time has passed, all that has been destroyed. i had everything a girl could ever ask for, God truly gave me the best. He supplied me with ALL that i needed: an amazing family && some wonderful friends.

The good, the bad, the big, the little. the ups, the downs, and everything in the middle. so much love and devotion we all had for each other. we were NOTHING close to perfect, but we ALWAYS worked together.years of memorable times and precious moments. Now, I am left with an empty heart and pictures to help me remember.

I’m not sure how it happened and I’m not sure that I wanna know. All I want is for everyone to return and for things to go back to normal. I was once surrounded with all that I needed. A soul I could turn to and tell all my secrets. I have nothing now.. no one, I am alone. I keep my heart cold, yet my smile so warm.

It seems so unreal; but heck, it’s the truth. Sometimes it seems as though I’m reading a book. I have nothing more than a mere smile. Its what I use against the entire world. Don’t ask me the reason, for I don’t even know why. Just hold my head up and let the FUTURE stay on my mind.

It really takes a lot to be able to stand up, after you fall. Not only has MY life changed, it has affected us all. I admire them so much- my sister and my brother. Life is a struggle and sometimes I can do nothing but wonder.

Yea, I brake down; sometimes I even cry. on the outside I’m strong, but really, its all lies. I want NO sympathy, empathy, or anything close. though things are rough, others have it a lot worse.

I think this is why I am open to everyone, in a different kind of way. I accept you and expect you to do the same. every chance I get, I greet with a smile. Its NOT me being fake, it just doesn’t show how I truly feel. its so much easier to smile and keep it all in. much easier than putting yourself on the line.

it has kept me going for a while now, I’m afraid that it may fail. my smile may not hold me up, it simply may just bail. I doubt that it will ever shut all the way down on me.

Because before it can do that, ONE DAY, I will hopefully be happy.

ONE DAY, My smile wont hide any of my emotions. It’ll shine through transparently, without any caution. ONE DAY, My smile will stand for me. && only me. It will no longer be unknown. It will no longer stand for any type of wall.

My smile will ONE DAY reflect me; because with God, ALL things are POSSIBLE. My dream will ONE DAY come true, it’s only practical.

My smile will be a happy smile, not just a cloned smile that resides on my face.

ONE DAY,

with FAITH.