You’re only going to let me down
So why do I paint this pretty picture 
In my mind and ignore the signs 
Saying run, don’t be dumb. 
It’s like I find pleasure
In the pain of breaking my own heart. 
It’s a twisted game in my own head. 
My thoughts are toxic, 
And thus I suffer due to myself. 
Why cant I stop making things up.
Why do I lie to myself
I guess I want to be a toy.
Because that is all you see.
I’m just another boy
Another piece of meat.
So take a bite and let it be
Because in the end it is only me
And I dont matter
As far as I can see.
I’m on the edge…
The heaviness grows on my heart
It’s not even your fault…
Not even one part.
For it is me who I should blame
Because this is my mind’s game.
Even now in my misery.
I write this in hope of company.
Your company that I’ve made up in my mind
I’ll keep painting that picture
Until I lose my mind