Nerds Not Allowed 

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying:

“Nerds Not Allowed—Enter At Your Own Risk!”

He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him. “You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?”

“I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I’m hauling.”

“Okay, truck drivers are not nerds,” he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.

“Why did you do that?”

“Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don’t even need a license.”

The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen!

He can’t let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly.
A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.

“What’s wrong? I thought nerds were in season,” says the truck driver.

“Well, sure,” says the patrolman. “But you can’t bait ‘em!”

Writing jokes and riddles can be difficult, but it can be a great way to exercise your brain and have some fun. It can also be both systematic and creative. One of the simplest ways to start the process is to choose a word or a subject, and find a new way to make a joke about it. I’ll start with “chair,” but I really am doing this quickly as I write, so forgive the weak humor that is sure to result.

The systematic part is to think of all the types of chairs, even writing them down. Then write down a few types of jokes, like “puns,” “misdirection,” “differences,” and “similarities.” Then start to combine the elements of chairs, types of chairs and any other notes you made with the types of jokes.

As I am writing this, it occurs to me that an electric chair might have the most potential for humor (all serious things do). I started with that. Here is what I came up with in thirteen minutes:

Misdirection: Why didn’t Charlie like the chair they gave him for his birthday? Because they gave him the electric chair!

Similarities: What does a chair have in common with my dog? Four legs and an IQ of zero.

Differences: What’s the difference between a chair and a toilet? If you don’t know, I can’t invite you over to my house!

Pun: Why did one of the customers at the motor vehicles department start rearranging seats after waiting for hours? Because he was the “chair-man of the bored.”

If you ask a comedian how he comes up with jokes, he may not have a complete answer. He will know some of the things that work for him, but much of the process may be unconscious. Using “mental algorithms” like the above is a way to do it consciously. It is also a great brain exercise.