I never got a chance to cry

I sat in the moment

Watched it coming to smack me

And showed no emotion

Hoping it was all a dream

But I’m not biggie

I hated word up magazine

So this is real

And so is the way I feel

My mind racing…

Why couldn’t you just calm your ass down?

But it’s not you

Things would have been different if I had been around

But I was

Maybe not enough

My mind racing

Patiently waiting for this outcome

So I could cry

Cause I saw this coming before anyone else did

And I can’t explain why

I wanted to fuck that doctor up

Pardon my french but

It’s hard being a christian when in hell you’re stuck

What could his excuses be

I had our lives planned out

So to watch this pan out

God’s love really confuses me

These nurses are pissing me off

You would think they would act a little better

Or even know what the hell they are doing

Hiding info from us

Protecting that bitch ass doctor

Who did they think they were fooling

My mother and father showed up

Same old speech

“son whatever you need”

But in the back of my mind

I figured a slight smile came upon them

They never wanted an opposite outcome to be

See…

I lost the little me

For the wages of sin is death

Yes I know that

But I lost my little Tap

Tyler Amir Pullen

We positioned him to be

A little T.A.P

Being strong for his mother was hard

But I had to be

And it seemed she was happier to see everyone in that room but me

What made it worst…

Her family had to admit

I wasn’t the only one who could see

I held it in

And stayed strong

I cut the umbilical cord

Held him in my arms

Caught a vision of him in my eye

But at the end of the day…

I never got the chance to cry.

© 2011 Terrell A. Pullen