Please don’t dice me even twice!

Thrice is so much less than nice.

Then my life will be too concise!

An unsteady left hand will not suffice;

to dice, your aim must be precise!

But still you’ll need a slice-device!

So may I recommend brown rice?

It doesn’t come at too high a price!

And if you heed my sound advice,

You’ll be unable to easily dice

Me.

Because, obviously, rice does not slice. Unless you sharpen it.