Who on earth could save me? Who could heal my tits?

My nipples were in chaos, and my head, it was in bits

I showed them to the doctor, he’d never seen such teats

He learnt all he knew from watching Casualty repeats

‘Are you a real doctor?’ I politely asked

 He said ‘No, keep it quiet, I don’t want to be unmasked’

After more discussions, it turned out that my doc

Had been masquerading as a GP so he could feel some cock

‘I’ve got no qualifications, I just want to clamber

All over hunky males, just like Fabrice Muamba’

This knowledge brought me anger, this knowledge brought me fear

And worst of all my nipple pain was now more severe

Will my nipples ever recover from this pain?

Will my evil doctor rub my brother’s prick again?

I need some answers now, I need some peace of mind

But most of all I need these fucking nipples to unwind