I am SO tired

all the time You’re trying to sleep
when it’s five in the morning
and now You’re needing it more and more
I am watching repeats of repeats
We are fighting all the time
I wake you up to argue
You sign, full of frustration
flipping violently from side to side
I’m sleeping on the couch a lot now
my back is always knotted
bones grinding, complaining
Your stomach grumbles
and I tell You to finish Your goddamn food
so You leave a bite on the plate
and then We throw accusations
misread interpretations
We know too much
and see nothing

there’s been a lot of talk about reform
but barely any changes
I think about what the neighbors think
when We wake up screaming
You are the loudest bitch I know
I ask You to shut up but
whispers fade to shouts
crescendo!
that little yelling face of Yours
red, and not making sense anymore
You can’t really figure out what You’re mad at
so You make it up
and all I can think of is what the neighbors think

I’m going to turn You black and blue
You say You want it
and You keep shouting at me
those salty crocodile tears
Your blotchy, sopping face
and Your running nose
let’s take this down to the floor
Your flailing arms are crushed beneath me
sobs muffled as I get real close
commanding that You stop all this at once
don’t You feel the guilt
of being able to end this but instead choosing to pitterpatter
those tiny fists uselessly against my back
and now I’m picking You up by Your hair
You’re whimpering but defiant, so I let go
tears are angry, but You don’t give up yet
I’ll throw You on the floor
and maybe your nose will finally start bleeding
-as a distraction
we lay down arms
but Your shirt is torn as you walk away to clean Your face
assessing the damage
a map of the world in bruises that You touch tenderly
and with pride
You kind of like that You can take it

none of these will last
blue fades back to skin
don’t waste Your time
haphazardly packing
just to hang up all Your clothes again
in shame

and I’m so sorry to lay a hand on You, my angel
You are the grace in charge of keeping my heart beating
my muse of apathy
the most beautiful girl in the world
I want to be more like You
when I grow up
and since we have each other
we don’t need anything else
I love bong hits and planet earth with You
every morning
to calm down with coffee and granola
I know You love me too so I can overlook
some of my flaws for now
I wish You’d hurry up and fix me faster
so we can get happy…