“Gimme T.P.!” That’s what the young man said.
I said, “Wut?” Not believing what I’d read.
“Gimme T.P.!” Once again he cried.
“Let me in there to smite the thing,”
As our comrads quickly died.

“Let me have T.P.!” he yelled in frustrated pride.
“With T.P. I can rape that thing,” fervently he cried.
“Oh, give me T.P. to avenge our friends who’ve died,”
You silly little halfling mage,
Will you kindly step aside.”

I was wedged firm in the cavern mouth
As the monster winged in from the south;
It struck and struck and struck again,
It had a stinger bigger than three men,
It was winged and fanged and drooled a lot,
It would surely do me in.

I shouted to my roommate
In a voice both desperate and distraight,
“Call his brother, call his mom,
Call his sister, CALL SOMEONE,
Get that lad some Toilet Paper
Else I’ll surely soon be gone.”

About that time, I was dealt a mighty whack
Stunned, I fell flat upon my back.
Seeing that his chance had come,
The warrior hesitated none,
Leaping o’er me, he boldly did attack,
And soon had that beastie on the run!

He pursued the creature with a mighty scream
And in the corner of the computer screen,
His anger bar gleamed a violent red,
As he flailed about the creatures head,
And let out with an array of pinwheels and sparkling lights
That made the  creature fall down dead.

“There now,” he said, as he put his sword away,
“I want you to listen to what I have to say.
You fool-hardy, lunatic,  little mage:
A warrior needs action to build up rage
I can really RAPE these monsters
If you let me get T.P., and not wait half age!”