So much time spent sitting in a stupor

wondering…

Thoughts so fragmented,

feeling the pull towards nothing,

away from everything.

Knowing I am being pulled apart

inside out, upside down,

body, soul, spirit, time.

 

If this chaos is not set to order

If the peace of this war is not accomplished

I lose

eternity with my God

and the rest of all

my family and friends 

in the company of heaven….

I lose. 

 

Peace of Christ, come to me

Grace of God be with me.

 

Events come and go; what do you know…

Another thing I couldn’t do

Another bullet ricocheting in my cramped existence…

Moments lost in ifs

Moments lost in shoulds

Moments lost in buts

Moments lost in woulds

Moments lost in trying

Moments lost in failing

Moments lost in tiredness

And frustration….

 

Moments lost in my losses

Moments lost in my griefs

Moments lost in the battles inside - 

which I fear I keep

because they are mine

and they loyally stick with me

 

Ha! Ha! I laugh at you my pride but not my joy;

I rack up my strifes in the vanities of my life,

I acknowledge Christ

Yet I deny His power

 

Ha! Ha! my pride but not my joy

You will never win over the love of God

You are an unwanted guest

and you have got to go!

For I belong

to the love and power of Christ!

 

Peace of Christ come to me

Grace of Christ be with me

Love of God restore me…. 

  (c)2006 Deborah Walcott-Grappie