When I think of the pain that she made me go through, I ought to be glad that she is gone.

When I reminisce on how she consistently made me nag like an old lady, accompanied with the humiliation I endured because I didn’t match her definition of a perfect lover, I double ought to be glad that she is gone.

My one time lover, you made me miserable, you made me hate the day momma gave birth to me, and you hit me so hard that till date I’m still asking if there is any such thing as genuine love.  

How come we spent so much time daydreaming about a happily ever after future only  to end up at each other’s throat before finally breaking up?

My goodness, this thing called love hurts. To some folks, love hurts sometimes, to others, it hurts all the time.  

Why does love enjoy climbing all the way up when it is fresh and young but detests wanting to remain up there when old and stricken? Why does it have to come crashing all the way down after getting to the top and never minding who’s going to be hurt ?

I tell my friends I am better off without you, but that is one lie I go to bed with each night and it is beginning to haunt me.  The truth is, I never stopped loving you even after you left. Not even after you assured me that your new lover is the one you have been longing for all of your life.  

My trouble appears simple from the outside, but it is complex on the inside. Educated people title call what I’m going through as “refusing to let go”. They are right, but please pray for me. This is because I recently discovered that my heart runs a different government from the one that is generally recognized. The more I try to forget you, the more my riotous heart keeps wanting you. How do I overcome this giant known as my heart which would rather have me waste precious time thinking about you all the time, and knowing that you are already happy in the arms of another?

All I want to do at this point in time is move on, but my rebellious heart keeps resisting my entire efforts. I use to counsel people on how to stay strong and move on when love chooses not to go the way they want it, but here I am heartbroken and finding it extremely difficult to practice what I preach. This is reality; I’m the one wearing the pair of shoes so I know exactly where it hurts. Someone tell me, how do I get out of this mess?