I wrote this a few years back when I was still single. This is my very first emotional poem which has a funny ending.  My attempt at songwriting composition that somehow failed because I couldn’t find the right melody for it.

NUMBED

you made me believe
you love me so much
that it would break
your heart
if we’d be apart
and i hate myself
for believing that

you said, you said
life had been beautiful
when you found me
that i am the apple of
your eyes
it’s only then
that i’ve realized
your sight knew
too many apples
hey, did you just say
you only have eyes
for me?

deception
just turns me on
when i don’t know
that it is
teach me how
to fake affection
so that in time
i’d be better than
the teacher
better than
you are

well, i can’t
hate you
as much as
i hate myself
for believing you
master of deceit
but i’m mad
screaming
a whisper now
whispering
a little scream
half-forgetting
the wonders
of deception…

intentionally
i’ve forgotten
you’ve blown
my top
how could you
not remind me
that i only
knew less
half-knowing
the truth
intentionally
missing the details
of your vanity
hey, did you just say
you only have eyes
for me?

half-thinking
you’d love me
more truthfully
in time
but now that
i am all alone
recalling
your graceful
exit into my life
my instincts told me
i was wrong

half-affected
by all these
i’ve been numbed
i’ve had enough
i could only laugh
you did not succeed
you did not succeed
you rotten pig