Although I’m quite aware
that things happen exactly as they should
your dying makes me cry Your death pleases me
in the sense that you are free
Even if you’ve suddenly ceased to exist at all
I truly believe you’re better off
It’s not your death
that has opened wounds
it is the way in which you died
I can’t imagine
what life might’ve been like without you
yet we barely spoke
in the years leading up to your death
There are so many things you taught me
and so many of the ways that I am
that are a direct result of your presence
and influence throughout my formative years
Things can’t be any different
for better or worse
They just are
exactly as they are
I hope you felt loved
And although you were alone
I hope
you rarely, if ever
felt lonely
All of those hopes and wishes
that I have for you
fall flat
because you are gone
Good for you
Escaping this dense place
is probably the biggest accomplishment
for any of us
I’m not done crying over you
My heart aches
with the void
where the expression of my gratitude
and final goodbye should be
Yes, I know
things are exactly as they should be
Unfortunately,
as they should be
is sometimes painfully heartbreaking