Sweet mother of mine

Oh sweet mother of mine,

You belong on a huge ole fucking shrine

How you’ve left scars on me, scars for everyone to see

You’re lonely and depressed but pull your shit together and stop making a mess

It’s unfortunate the mistakes you’ve made but don’t hate me for your own life you’ve decayed

You’re unhappy and that’s so sad, but get over it, you don’t even have it bad

Ever since I was little, I’ve depended on no one but me

I was not able to confide in my father or any of my family

And I was not anymore able to confide in you

I was molested by an older girl, an older fucking girl, but who gives a hoot?

Don’t get me wrong I know it could’ve been a lot worse

So maybe that’s the reason I told no one, but the truth is it still fucking hurt

My step dad treated me unfairly and yet I made not one complaint

He was your new husband and therefore it would put me out of place

So I took his beatings for no reason, because I knew defiance was not the way to his heart

I tried most anything so that maybe one day his family is what I would be apart  

I had no intention in telling you

 For you were my mother and therefore I felt you knew what was best to do

I confided in myself and seek out outside acceptance somewhere else

I was desperate for love and care so I turned to boys to fix my despairs

Being that young, I was forced to ask myself what makes me so different?

I would cry at night and pray god for forgiveness

I must have done something wrong to be treated this way

I prayed night after night but once morning came it was all like yesterday

Yet I pulled myself together and kept my composure

Making sure no one knew and saw how much inside I was tortured

I looked to god to help me get by

Yet every night I would still break down and cry

For was I unworthy of god’s love and attention as well?