The Grind Stone. My hands. This letter opener to give you my heart.
These dreams twist wrestlessly from border to border of this body.
At times they make water seep from these eyes.
Wanting is not enough. Hunger I can kill. But all equates to what I must do.
My hands are blistered. My letter went unread.
I screamed so loud I lost my voice. And now I learn to speak again.
And now I learn to Love again.
These are not passive actions. They are the ingredients of a good life.
And we laugh about my debt. We scoff at these troubles of luxury.
You almost hugged me back and I felt your retisence
and so I knew my own better. I wanted you more for it, but I gave you to God
and the I of yesterday giggles childishly as to my use of Soul
as it would seem I did not dance so much with it then.
We made snow angels. You deified my image and I promised
to burn it down for you. So, I did.        And we roasted
marshmallows. And sang songs that we had not learned the words to yet.
I could live in this smile forever if only I could stay out of my own way.
Maybe I can. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
The mountain is in sight. The mountain is upon us. The mountain dissappears
and it is only because it is below us.
The valleys come and go seeming eternity when we are low.
The horizon expands to a limitless place. The place I have no name for.
I want to Love you.  So, I do.   That is my job anyway.
When you come at me with all of these fears that planted those seeds that
 sprouted all of this rage, it is then that I must stay my Love.
More then than now, when it is so easy.
When you are out and about and far away in this silent protective bubble.
And even when I feel ugly I must Love me too.
That is the suffering in Life. The inability to unknow
the wise blips
that occur to us, when those same thoughts have no air to breathe.
And this is my Mantra: “May ALL beings have happiness
and the causes of happiness; this is immeasureable Loving kindness.
May ALL beings be liberated from suffering and the causes of suffering;
this is immeasureable COMPASSION.
May all beings be FREE of suffering and always stay happy;
THIS is immeasureable joy.
May all, MAY ALL beings be free of grasping and aversion and practice equality;
this is immeasureable equanimity.”
Ahhhhhh.