I learned that I should not be looking for love; it would come and hit me when I least expect it.

Do you remember that one chilly afternoon of fall when destiny lured us to bump into each other? For you, I was just one of the faces in the crowd, and so are you. But then what was supposed to be a plain ordinary day for me and what was supposed to be a time out for you from a hectic life turned out into something romantically wonderful.

Fast forward to the future: Our first encounter became the start of our amazing love story. For you, I was like a pine tree blooming in green but for me; you were my scent of pine blossoming in the four chambers of my heart. I spent time with you at the Kissing Rock as if there was no tomorrow. You first said “I Love you’ and you gave sparks not only to the city of love but to my life in general. Then finally, before she left the “I” and “you” became “us”.

I learned that when I love, I lose track of myself.

I used to be Ms. I-know-what-I-want-to-do-with-my-life before we knew each other. I believe I am intelligent and very rational, just like a typical Cosmopolitan Girl who weighs things, analyzes, analyzes, and analyzes (some more) before I make moves and decisions. I have the rest of my life planned out, and then you came. I never imagined doing things that do not seem to make sense at all, say, sleeping during odd hours of the day so I’d be up in the wee hours of the evening and early morning just so I could talk to you. Never did I think I’d do cheesy stuffs everyday just to let you know that I’m thinking about you and that I am soooo in love with you. I would be the least likely person to say sorry even when I am the one at fault but sorry became a surplus in my vocabulary. My carefully laid out plans for my career went all in chaos because I want to adjust myself to you and our relationship. I disregard advices from people closest to me and I continued loving you. For me, only the crazy ones do that. But I did those all for you. There’s so much more actually. I just can’t disclose more personal details coz’ not all might understand.

I learned that absence really makes the heart grow fonder.

Day in and day out, all I could think about was you. I always count the days until we see each other. I longed for you but thank God for the talks, chats, e-mails and text messages because those brought us closer to each other. Our love transcends through time and distance. Our memories kept me alive and were in my mind constantly. You were like a rose, and for some reason, your smell lingered in my hand. I can close my eyes, and instantly, you are there, your striking face that takes my breath away. I remember all of you.

I learned that the only permanent thing in this world is change. Things, circumstances, feelings do change…so as people.

In this world of impermanence, for a while I thought we could never prove everybody wrong – But we did! We proved that we are bound to do the unthinkable and have a very successful long distance relationship. It felt like we were a match made-in-heaven that can face all the challenges the world has to give and still end up in each other’s arms. We changed. We learned to be more responsible and mature in this relationship. Our love changed. It got stronger and boundless. We never got tired and grew out of love. We exchanged extra sweet words and do romantic things to each other more frequently. We no longer quarrel for reasons that we could fathom. We both changed for good.

I learned that to love means to accept things, to give, to understand and not to question, to forgive and let go.

I really do not want to seek for answers and explanations, because I thought none of those would make things easier for me. Sometimes I am better off not knowing. Truth is not for everybody, you know. It is not for the weak. I am not weak (Am I really not?). But then you were brave enough to tell me everything. I did just the same. For you, I am worth the truth as I deem you also are.

I was shredded to pieces when I found out one painful reality. In fact, that was deja vu for me. It surely brought forth strong emotions because of the things that happened in the past that never really left my mind. I died after you uttered the words. I don’t want to die again. Call this paranoia, or distrust or cynicism, call it whatever you want. But God knows how much I suffered. The pain was so hard to dismiss, much less forget. But I thought wrong…

Loving you allowed me to embrace acceptance, to give more, to understand without hesitations, not to question, not to doubt, to forgive and to let go of painful memories…

I have moved on because you proved me that you are worth every new beginning.

I learned that it really takes two to tango.

As clichéic as it sounds, relationships are two-way streets, you give, then you take. I gave you my all. You took it all. You gave me your all. I took it all.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not asking for the impossible. I don’t want the world. I need only you to walk with me in this life. I need you to dance with me in our journey.

I learned that no matter what I do, it is YOU that I love, the one I want to be with and the one I cannot live without.

…Like I was born to love you. I will forever cherish the endearing things that you did and how important you made me feel… how we never ran out of things to say until we were ready to fall asleep… the way you made me laugh, the way you held me… and the feeling of perfectly fitting in your embrace. I will evermore relish that one special time that we spent together, how it felt to be so close to you that I could feel you breathe. I will always remember your lips and your sweet little kisses that do magic. All of these and more are forever etched in my memory.

There will be more memories to come…I know…

And I learned that some things, though seemed so imperfect at times are not bound to end.
Everything bears some purpose, whether obvious or not, and all things happen as they must, no matter how great the burden or unbearable the pain. Somehow, I am beginning to see how everything in this life is connected. I have lived and loved. I am living and loving. Maybe somehow, this is how things stay truly magical. Our love is certain to take breaths until time knows no end.

As my journey of learning continues, everything boils down to one simple truth that is keeping me alive… “i love you”
yours truly,

pinkmonster21