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One More Try Baby

louise labudde on Dec 1, 2009
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There is a story behind this poem, one that hurts to write. roughly two months ago I had a fight with my boyfriend on our 12 month anniversary. I thought he didn’t want to be with me that day because he had walked away. What I didn’t realise was that he wanted me to follow him because he was going to invite me to his year twelve formal. That day I was going to the chemist with my friend so she could get a pregnancy test so I was extremely stressed. well I ended up getting very mad at my boyfriend because he had said I had changed. And I broke up with him on our year anniversary. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was only doing it because my friends had put thoughts into my head that he didn’t love me. So this is me saying how sorry I am. and how while I know I don’t deserve him, I hope he will give our love one more try.

I put this up because I was told I needed to explain more for people to feel what I was feeling in my poem.

                                                  I would take away all i said that day,

                                                   all the tears i cried.

                                                                    Baby I’m sorry

                                                   that i ever said that we weren’t meant to be.

                                                     I need you, so much it kills me inside,

                                                      and you say you need me too,

                                                       so let’s not pretend like we don’t want

                                                        one another, baby please just give us one more try.

                                                      Cause baby you’re not, and I’m not,

                                                        ready to say goodbye.

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Comments (2)
  • Kip Spleen on Dec 1, 2009

    Interesting topic but I’m afraid there is just not enough intrinsic backstory here for me to understand exactly what you mean to say. That is- you know what you are talking about, but if you expect readers to feel what you feel you will need more of the story in the poem. For the form, you did well.

  • louise labudde on Dec 1, 2009

    um thanks. the story to it was that I messed uo ans took something my boyfriend was joking about to heart and ended it with him hence messing up and now im trying to tell him how sorry i am because i know he didnt mean it and i want to make amends

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