A  small moment in time was all it took

to suddenly sum up my entire life.

I am standing in line at the grocery store

an old man, grey and quiet

cuts in front of me

and avoids eye contact.

I was instantly sad,

Felt like I was taken advantage of

but although my mind fired off

words that I would want to say to him—

I held it all inside.

And when it was his turn

to ring up his items,

I noticed his keys were left aside.

Quickly, I picked them up,

to make sure he did not leave them behind.

And in that small moment in time

I wanted to cry.

Desperately, I wanted to cry.

My eyes welled up with tears

and I longed to disappear.

Because I know this small moment

should entitle me the knowledge

that I am a very good person.

Instead,

I find nothing better

but to stand in line..

waiting not to help myself,

but to self-destruct.

It seems contradictory,

unreasonable

and at the very least;

unfair

but

this is what I’m living to die for.

These small moments

make it so un-worthwhile.

All of it.