My ambition is waning.  But I still want to write even when I don’t care to.  It is just the thing I do.  Some people may ask, “Rethink this over.  Is it REALLY what you want to do?”  If I forget my passion for writing and continue saying, “No, I do not feel passionate about this anymore” I might quit.  But then all these years are spent for nothing.  I grew masterful at something only to let it go.  All the things I could have done better will go undone.  All the causes I could have helped will no longer have it.  So stay with writing I must even when I do not feel it.  For FEELING something is not my goal.  Excitement I wish to overcome forever.  Passion makes me antsy and a calm serenity is all I wish for.  I want to be masterful and unswayed by anything new.  I want to have done and seen everything already and get it over with, so that I might live amongst anything and not feel a pinch of wonder.

Why “Wonder” like philosophers, questioning everything you already know?  It will lead to confusion.  They only want to change your mind.  Maybe make you more malleable to new circumstances throughout Time:

I am adaptable;
Some call it unstable, complex. 
I am just able to
overcome whatever comes next.