Polishing my nails until they shine,

Tracing a pen in patterns over my hand,

Whispering my sorrows to the thoughtless night,

Selecting pocketfuls of pebbles from the beach

– it’s all the same.

Dulling the senses to what’s waiting around the corner.

Courage fails me once again.

Too many people beating their fists against my skull

Behind my knitted brows. Lurking in my boggy mind.

So there’s nothing I can say.

Why ask stupid questions you can’t answer?

Not like it matters.

Or, if it does, only because enough people thought it did,

And now we’ve forgotten that it doesn’t.

Holding on to things you can’t take with you,

In case you need the memories.

Dancing in your mind but holding your tongue in your mouth.

And you think that’s enough.

Find something without a pattern;

Something that changes.

Find it now.