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“Visit Perfect Perth” as the catchy/irritating slogan

Says; Perth, city of contradictions -

The Fair City or a sizeable town, city in name only;

Pretty, picturesque/parochial, provincial

Market town/important county headquarters;

Cosmopolitan shopping and arts against

Image as sleepy backwater.

Concert Hall adding oomph/ impact to

Staid image of Theatre, defunct City Hall.

St John Street ‘the Regent Street of the North’ -

McEwen’s the ‘Jenners of Perth’ -

Ordinary, rundown South Street shopping strip,

Grand facades on High Street masking usual multiples,

Interspersed with family-run businesses.

Balcony-topped traditional Council chambers

Visited by victorious, promoted Saints players,

Thousands lining streets/housing estates in acclaim.

New Council headquarters in Kinnoull Street, modern,

Open-plan if not open policies or open expense claims.

Respectable, snooty, snobby airs given off by some,

Hiding seedy underbelly of hard drug use, violent crime

In out of town centre sprawling housing schemes,

Their reputations necessitating name changes -

Hunter Crescent to Fairfield, much more middle class.

Yes, a fine place to visit relatives or for a holiday

But is it really where people would want to live full-time?

Yuppies and retirees pricing people out the housing market.

Popularity-victim problem looming, fastest growing area

In Scotland, risk of overdevelopment ruining the semi-rural

Feel that attracts homebuyers in the first place.