There’s lots of porn out there on the web

I ran across some just the other day

It’s all completely free they say

But leave your card number to prove your age

I did find one site, though, that required no identification

Curiosity got the best of me, I’m too old for lust

Now I was a doctor before I retired some years ago

But I saw things there that I’d never seen before

My practice did not include such intimate exams

Besides, those new cameras can go places that I can’t

But I did not recall that women really looked like that

Besides the shaving, perhaps they all have changed somehow

But I know that evolution doesn’t work that fast

Lest you’re a creationist and compact history very tight

If the entire world just took four thousand years

Why should not a woman’s this or that change in just a few

And I saw things done I didn’t know were possible

Do normal people’s joints really bend that far

And the durations of some things

Well, I guess Viagra can do wonders

And can normal people work that hard, all that jumping up and down

Must require a lot of energy, and some of those girls don’t look well fed

Hell, I surely would have clutched my chest and died

Long before that woman even hinted of a smile

And from a doctor’s point of view, some of that stuff just isn’t sanitary 

Nonetheless, if those couples are old enough and willing

It’s not for me to say, but I’m still concerned about those little changes

Maybe it’s a plot, the creationists might, after all, be right in what they say