If I could lick my genitals

Just like my neighbours pet

I’d film it with my camera

And I’d put it on the net

I’d soon be rich and famous

Like a real life porno star

I’d buy a great big mansion

And a big expensive car

A swimming pool, Jacuzzi

Naked women by the score

A wall hung with old masters

Persian rugs upon the floor

But that’s really just a dream

And I’d be happy I suppose

If I could lose my belly

And could see my bloody toes