In a church far away
From this church where we all pray,
In a time long ago, out of mind–
Lived folks a lot like us,
Who didn’t drink or cuss–
Yet had one tiny spot where they were blind.

They’d come to church each week
To hear the preacher speak,
Then afterward, they’d depart to eat.
No matter what the venue,
Clergy’s always on the menu.
A single dish made fellowship complete.

Preacher Stew! Preacher Stew!
Its really rather tasty,
If I do say so myself.
Every word that man says wrong,
All the things he ought to do–
We stir them up together
When we make Preacher Stew.

Each week it was the same,
As they carefully traced the blame
For all the wrongs within their fellowship.
The trouble was with him,
And all his kith and kin.
They’d rev their chainsaw tongues and let ‘em rip!

He should sit there by the phone,
He should be in members’ homes.
His sermons are too short, or way too long.
His bedside manner’s lacking,
He’d best get the church board’s backing
If he intends to change the final song.

Preacher Stew! Preacher Stew!
Its really rather tasty,
If I do say so myself.
Every word that man says wrong,
All the things he ought to do–
We stir them up together
When we make Preacher Stew.

One week there came a crunch
As they were eating him for lunch.
They thought they’d better send him on his way.
Good progress they were making,
And a straw vote they were taking–
When someone notice they’d forgot to pray!

Dear Lord, we know You sent him,
But we think You must have bent him.
He’s really not the shape we all prefer.
So won’t you take him back?
Give us one without his lack.
We want another brother we can stir.

Preacher Stew! Preacher Stew!
Its really rather tasty,
If I do say so myself.
Every word that man says wrong,
All the things he ought to do–
We stir them up together
When we make Preacher Stew.

Blessed be the tie that binds,
Our hearts in Christian love.
The fellowship of kindred minds,
Is like to that above…

Preacher Stew! Preacher Stew!
Its really rather tasty,
If I do say so myself.
Every word that man says wrong,
All the things he ought to do–
We stir them up together
When we make Preacher Stew.

Preacher Stew! Preacher Stew!
Its really rather tasty,
If I do say so myself.
We also roast and baste them,
You really ought to taste them.
But they’re always at their finest,
Stirred up in Preacher Stew.