Pretty (Lonely)

Every moment counts as I begin to lose my mind. The clock starts moving backwards, not a minute, nor even an hour, but far back as the insanity returns. Never becomes a lifestyle and forever never existed. I die every night just to remain a shadow in the day, faded from existence, not even fully human. The moon is my friend for at least it makes my tears look somewhat glamorous as they sparkle down my cheek. I release all of my frustration upon my soaking pillow as I wonder why. Why what? Why am I crying again, why can’t I be happy. Why can’t I smile and think happy thoughts. My anxiety rises as everything shrouds my mind and blocks out every last bit of good.  Am I crazy, or am I depressed. No I am neither, for you see this only happens when left alone from your soft touch, and out of reach to hear you voice. When you leave, this is what I become, for I am not a crazy person, for you have made me sane, and I am not depressed, on the contrary I am the happiest man on earth. I cry because I miss you, I miss you because I love you, I love you because you make me happy, and therefore I cry because I am happy. Happy to be able to call you mine, happy that I can look forward to seeing you in the near future, and happy that I have someone, miles away, doing the same thing I have just described, except it is she who misses me. I guess happiness is contagious.