is this a fart

or could it be a shart?

oooh…

did I just shit my pants?

because you see,

there will be no clarity

until a waft of smell

doth comes hither

from trouser land…

…wait for it…

…don’t move…

OH, it’s too pungent

to make heads or tails.

warm it may be,

between tighty and whitey

but, to deliver an answer

it does fail.

so, off to the isolation

of tile and porcelain

for I must look inconspicuously

upon the fabric of the unmentionably.

will the wash return these skivvies

to the purity that accompanies

the utter lack of all hue?

or, will the water and lye,

as hard as I may try,

only bring about

a distinctive spot of ivory and stew?

…wait for it…

…give it a quick look…

what lies in this present,

wrapped in the paper of pant,

and a bow which matches the shoe,

is that with which fear and dignity

will encourage our timid humility.

you see, it’s the same earthen nugget

which you too, do doo.