Religion: the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!

You send your prayers to your friend on high

Your invisible king up in the sky

He listens to your every word

That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!

You tell me it’s all “in the book”

If I would only take a look

You live and die by every word

That’s the oddest thing I’ve ever heard

Once a year it comes to pass

You’ll eat some turkey, raise a glass

To celebrate a virgin birth

That’s the daftest thing I’ve ever heard!

He rose up from the dead, you say

On a bright and glorious day

Then he flew to heaven, like a bird

That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard!

Around the world you try to convert

Even the rapist and the pervert

Everyone’s a child of god? How absurd!

That’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard!

Remember the tale of Old Mother Hubbard?

Well, many of you like to sit in a cupboard

And tell a stranger your secrets! Yes, every word!

That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!

Your children go to sunday school

So they’ll never fall under satan’s rule

Of fire and brimstone they will learn

That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard!