I was travelling to Thursford, one day in the car

And I’d followed directions I’d got in the bar

We were on Caister road, was it left was it right

It was late, we were lost we were losing the light

We spotted a policeman and asked of him “pray,

Thursford my friend, can you tell me the way”

Well, he started to chuckle, he grinned then he laughed

Said “ you’ve listened to John, you’ve been pretty daft

It’s a good forty mile, you’ve had a bum steer

It’ll take you an hour, cos it’s nowhere near here”

So Johnny, old pal, your directions are crap

And, next time I go out I’m consulting a map