When they told me

‘School days are the best days of your life’

I said, Mother, you must be mad

And if that’s true

I’m going to sue.

Rise before the sun gets its pants on

Lurch into your uniform

And let the wind and rain propel you

Through the sleeping colliery town

To the comprehensive on the hill

A bastard of the Bauhaus.

School days are the best days of your life, they said

And they were half right

And they were half wrong

No responsibilities, but neither any rights.

Double maths in C Block

Rugby in frozen mud

It takes a sadistic mind

To devise Herculean trials

For a sickly Hylas like me.

Chill classrooms staffed by malcontents

With no power to inspire

They can only scorn and criticise

And hope to crush

A youth they long for and despise.

School days are the best days of your life, they said

And they were half right

And they were half wrong

No responsibilities, but neither any rights.