You may not always see it in me but I have something wrong inside,

it’s the reason I can’t look you in the eye or smile at you,

it’s the reason I try to shrink away into the crowd.

I try not to expose it but it comes out from time to time as shyness,

you may spot it when my shoulders slump forward into my chest

it’s what makes me fidget and shake when holding a conversation

or when I stutter an stammer at your questions, or can’t give you a straight answer

it shows when I feel under pressure, it makes me rush things, or give up altogether

it’s evident when I walk along looking down at the floor as if gravity won’t let me lift m head.

it’s a feeling that overcomes me when I’m around people I don’t know that makes me feel inferior to you, 

your very presence makes me feel claustrophobic and unable to breath

It’s like never being able to relax, or feel comfortable  

It means not being able to sleep at night and always being exhausted and drained of life

it’s fearing every opinion you may have about me or what you may say next,

it’s never being able to look forward to the future because all I can see is the past.

You may see me during the next few months,

I may get on your bus, walk into your shop or walk past you in the street

if you do see me

 be kind, be gentle,be welcoming, be caring

but most of all please be understanding

because it’s not easy being this way.