A poem on what really matters.

The world is bland, cruel, and dim,

And things are starting to look grim,

No jobs, no money, no hope for tomorrow,

Everyone needs just a bit to borrow.

But no one has any hope to lend,

No one has any joy to spend.

People are just scraping by,

With a smaller piece of the pie.

All chance for happiness is lost,

Out the window hope is tossed,

We live, we die, that’s all there is,

Maybe leave a couple kids.

There is no plan, no grand design,

But you know what? That’s just fine.

I don’t need some cosmic web,

To affect my joy’s flow and ebb.

I won’t go from rags to riches,

I might end up digging ditches,

But I won’t let it trouble me,

Because in the end I can see,

It doesn’t matter what you own,

Who you have sets the tone.

As long as you have family and friends,

You can ignore any silly trends,

They’ll make your world free of strife.

If you’ve got that, well then you’re set for life.

1
Liked it
Comments (4)
  • jeyraul on Nov 30, 2011

    A nice poem about life. auto transport

  • Victoria Jenkins on Nov 30, 2011

    I disagree with your philosophy, but agree with your sentiment–that is, friends and family are one of the most important things in life, but I think there is a greater purpose in life.

    As a poem, you’ve focused on rhyming too much, and your meter has suffered. (Not all poem /have/ to rhyme. ;3) The only suggestion I have is to play with the words some more.

    I do like the technique you used; rhyming every two lines was a good idea, because it gives the poem structure.

    Thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed this.

  • Victoria Jenkins on Nov 30, 2011

    Also, I really need to proofread my comments more carefully. Ouuuuch–some of the mistakes I see above are wince-worthy. Sorry about that!

  • KnightOfSpades on Nov 30, 2011

    Thanks for the feed back, I’ll keep it in mind for future poems. If you have any suggestions for my other pieces, feel free. I love feedback.

Leave a Comment

Hi there!

Hello! Welcome to Authspot, the spot for creative writing.
Read some stories and poems, and be sure to subscribe to our feed!

Find the Spot

Loading