Shape-shift Slumber

Lauren H on Oct 27, 2009

Inspiration defeats hopelessness…

Sleep approaches,
the forceful lure insists.
Silence, sinking sun,
shadows lengthen into mist.

My mind begins to wander
as demons start to play.
Promising, beckoning, drawing,
gone is the safety of day.

Where is the end, on and on,
the dark world does stretch beyond.
And then, swiftly, the sail-boat drifts,
across the brain-rain pond.

Slowly it sinks, deeper,
connecting dream with consciousness.
The flight begins, the veil lifts,
with one last long caress.

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Comments (2)

Kip Spleen on Oct 27, 2009
Here’s to brain-rain! A good write with solid underlying form and style, though I would personally shy away from the reference to the “dark world” beyond, and maybe expand it into a description of that world as you envision it. Perhaps an addition like that could be done in it’s own stanza. Anyway, I hope this was helpful, and if you can check out some of my poems and give me some hints I would appreciate it- I too am studying writing and like people to tell me what I could do better.

Keep writing!
Tracey Parece on Oct 28, 2009
I like it. The imagery is wonderful. \\\”Brain-rain\\\” is a good term for the muddy feeling in between dreaming and waking (and perhaps nightmares). Keep up the nice work.

Hi there!