i struggle with lavender nights

sheets that smell of lilac water

An indented pillow at my side

no body near that filled the little cavern

I dreamed of radon again

running with strangers to out run

the contamination

i hold the sweet smelling sheets

and feel the body that wrapped mine

into safety

Gone now, who will be here if I have

to hide from the nightmare?

i grab the bottle of lilac water

spray it wildly in the air

It brings back the good memory

of love merged tension that frees

me from the news

i know i cannot go back to sleep

I hear the shower

Relieved he has not left

Towel wrapped, wet shaggy hair

Don’t go today, i plead

This has to stop, you are wearing me out

he says

What if it happens today?

You need to see someone, why

did you spray that stuff all over

it is toxic

Not as toxic as your damn nuclear plant

Glow in the dark, i don’t care

Don’t nag me when I get home

I pull the sheets over my head

What if it happens today?

What then?

The sheets will smell of radon….