This is probably the sadest song / poem I’ve ever written. I was in love with this girl from Russia and we were trying to make it work. She was very beautiful and was one of the reasons I decided to learn the russian language. You could probably find one of the songs I wrote in Russian + English was about her also. Well long story short I was very rude to her and told her that the only reason she was interested in me was because she wanted citizenship to the United States. I was led astray and given bad advice from a particular person, my mother. I’m not no mama’s boy, but she wasn’t supportive of any decisions I was making and good news I won’t be listening to anybody who’s going to get in the way of my happiness. That much is certain. The Russian girl never re-contacted me again, but after three years of absolute emotional pain I’m able to move on.
She’s Not Coming Back
I’m in a dark room
its pitch black
nothing here, but doom
and I know she not coming back
I feel so empty inside
about as empty as the room I’m in
I’m sitting in a chair
and my arms are restrained
to the metal arms
its like being gripped by the devil
and hearing everybody laugh at me
I keep trying to fight these feelings
you can hear me try, watch and see
she’s not coming back
because I told her to go away
she’s not coming back
because I pushed her away
she’s not coming back
because I broke her heart
she’s not coming back
because she won’t answer my calls
she’s not coming back
ever again
I’m clamped to this silver chair
in a dark room
its so cold I can feel a draft
my eyes are wide open
and still its such a dark room
its like I’m in the middle of the ocean and I’m on a raft
a tear falls on my cheek
as I feel the pain leave my soul
she’s not coming back
because I told her to go away
she’s not coming back
because I pushed her away
she’s not coming back
because I broke her heart
she’s not coming back
because she won’t answer my calls
she’s not coming back
ever again
suddenly I see a light emerge
and a window appears
there’s a whole new world
to walk through
and my dark world around me
begins to disappear
I break my bonds
and climb through the window
and its like I always knew
she’s not coming back
she’s not coming back
because I told her to go away
she’s not coming back
because I pushed her away
she’s not coming back
because she won’t answer my calls
she’s not coming back,
ever, ever again
She’s Not Coming Back
Ryan Keith Johnson
© Copy Right 2010 All Rights Reserved.
To read more of the author’s work go to
http://www.ryankeithjohnson.ws
Read more: http://authspot.com/poetry/driving-nails-down-your-spine/#ixzz0mR12Bxpq
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