Shit-off, what a nightmare,

there’s a cockroach on my shoulder!

What a ludicrous way to live your life,

a giant rat just ran across the hall way,

not exactly value for money.

And I ask myself, “Is this actually what’s going to happen?”

The cleaner looks at me, “I’m having a nightmare” I reply,

what I want is edible glitter, unicorns, platform boots and rock n’ roll,

not an over the top tourist trap and a licensed bandit in a taxi.

What a berk.

Fuck off…