Almost had me, 
Almost pushed me over the edge.
Almost made me settle into one small space, 
Ambiguous relativity like gas and clutch; 
A tad too analytical — I think too much!

Belittled like a kid looking for trouble, 
Befuddled after emotional bankruptcy and seeing double.
Bubble gum dreams, 
Blown to smithereens; 
Bad, but not the worst of misgivings.

Chagrin, much due to false and overblown perceptions, 
Cost of submission is loss of self-respect.
Compromise beliefs to relieve fears of the frantic, 
Concessions betwixt cultural divides are serial semantics; 
Consumed like the phoenix and reborn with new antics.

Dramatic delivery of monologue and delusional chatter, 
Dangling bits of history like curve balls to batters.
Dancing on a line of whether to offend or to flatter: 
Diabolically divide and conquer or salvage what matters?
Delicious decisions: Lean with and Rock towards the latter.

Even when right is the intent, 
Eventually differences cause roads to be bent.
Evil exists apropos of Good regardless of what is meant, 
Equal repentance, yet one more wrong and bears discontent;
Ejaculation with no egg-u-mication yields discord in relations.

Fuck!

Grandeur is the delusion of equal opportunity, 
Gap, as far as the east from the west betwixt community.
Gratuity of Appreciation I hoped would bridge some distance, 
Good deeds never go unpunished in this instance, you see;
Graduation is commencing as understanding reaches clarity.

Happy is the man who chooses to be so, 
Hopeful is the man who learns to cope.
Hanging from a rope to choke out the jokes outside of me, 
Healthy remedy until it was time to breathe;
Hallelujah, I have been set free!

Inside, where the jokes are not allowed anymore, 
Internal organs begin to cook with the absence of laughter.
Incessant chatter from the inquisitive after the sacrifice, 
In this chapter of life where the moral is to end strife; 
Ironically the cross of Christ is my greatest vice.

Jesus had to be the theme to start the tenth installment; 
Judas had to follow because of significant involvement.
Juxtapose villains and heroes; Betrayal or Heroic Tragedy?
Justify crucifying my dignity to save the family; 
Joke’s on me for blending my identity.

Killed the lifetime of soul-searching which confirmed beliefs, 
Killed years of sifting relativity picking which truths to reap, 
Killed months of self-reflection and fighting off depression, 
Killed the days of asking God foolish and unlearned questions, 
Killed moments of using information as a lethal weapon.

Left the past behind and rest in peace, 
Leapt without care into heavenly release.
Learn these two lessons only follow this script: 
Love only dreams of loving; 
Live for something.

More than something is everything, 
More than deadly compromise is evidence of life lingering.
Moved to moist meditation and leaking from reality seeking, 
Meaning again has meaning as brainwaves are again heating,
Motivated to rise; patience deleting and long suffrage fleeting.

Needles reaped within haystacks are harvests complete, 
No need to waste time looking for pain as it exists inevitably.
Note: “No good deed goes unpunished” lacks symmetry, 
No need (conversely) to plant good deeds intentionally;
Neither rain nor shine will impede life’s eventuality.

Only the good die young? Optimistic about my resurrection, 
180 degrees from martyrdom’s skid marked direction.
Older now, yet inexhaustibly in pursuit of perfection, 
Optometrist cleared for 20/20 tunnel vision, night and day;
On missions since risen to sell ears to collect attention as pay.

Position the soul preferably ahead of body and mind, 
Particularly in the affairs of love thoughts are hardest to bind.
Panic attacks roll like blackouts and sanity is a pain to sustain, 
Performance anxiety despite the omnipotence of the brain;
Puzzling how responsibility is coupled with power and reign.

Question authority as it is usually one tracked and selfish,
Quality control makes one tracked seem broad and selfless.
Quarantine hope and hide knowledge from the helpless,
Quality control is stealth in the malediction of the masses;
Quietly but effectively suggesting for them to skip classes.

Repercussions of random acts of kindness should be kindness,
Random acts in contradiction seem reserved for the spineless.
Reservations for three yet body and soul show up, mindless.
Remember when reaping what’s sowed was man’s finest?
Reaping is now a grim indication of spiritual blindness.

Senses mastered physically: hear, touch, smell, taste, see;
Senses of the mind ever-evolving: listen, perceive, conceive, 
Savor and imagine;
Soul Senses: discern, feel, discover, indulge, believe;
Skid marks the end of mind and body supremacy.

Talk much so that much is heard,
Touchy conversations cause carefully chosen words.
Take out my rod and cast a line near fishy smell,
Time will tell if in the end we taste of hooks used well;
Tell a tale of two souls who see equality in male and female.

Under no circumstances but always on top of game,
Unique or different have no need for shame.
Uniformity as normalcy is the cradle of blame,
Unconsciousness is standard if we wish to dream the same;
Utopia for the religiously hopeful in a desert with no rain.

Vain is the man who sees himself above all righteous,
Vanished is persistence in search of truth as he reeks of bias.
Vocalized and categorized as substandard pious,
Visualized as civil unrest and non-conformity;
Violence ensues when answers escape diplomacy.

War: What is it good for?
Win or lose, everyone learns more.
Where is the love once we’ve closed the door?
Wiped out all options and my soul is a prisoner of war.
What is more, the notion of love is folklore.

eXistentialists’ wet dream,
Xanadu’s existence ripped at the seams.
X-Rated with deep penetrating sex machines,
eXit stage left after orgasmic truth is forthcoming;
X-ray to find proof of painful soul strumming.

Years and years of bumming off of good intent,
Yahweh created what my life has meant.
Youth changed to jaded maturity as my faith was bent,
Young, dumb and full of cum was time well spent;
Yet as older fits current description I must stop to repent.

Zigzag after spiritual cleansing back to prodigal, 
Zeal lasts microseconds during conjugal.
Zebra striped contrasting actions give balance, 
Zodiac Gemini sign projected at the zenith of happenstance;
Zen’s experimental wisdom best maps the road to Zion.