My attention is thus, blinding to the point my mind reads like an error.
I try and smile but my lips crack and split, mirrored by my state of mind.
So I write.
Things should be better by now but no.
I feel like the love is being drained from me until I wont recognise it nor myself.
To fill myself with numbing sadness as the rest of the world spins around me with smiles and happiness.
I want no pity no remorse.
I want love so badly…
So blindingly I shake inside.
Every day I feel its madness rising.
Im slipping away…
Leaving words in my wake until the dark swallows me whole.
I cant take much more of this before it drives me far far away.
This torture I endure day by day I wonder when I will have paid my dues.
Im so afraid to be alone.
So I face my fear again.
During the breath of night it kills me beneath the stars.
My world turns agonizingly slowly.
My faith is lost amidst my cries.
I beg to be heard.
Just look at me please and tell me its all right…
Nothing will ever be alright.
Only drifting away slowly with each piece of me you forget.
I hear whispers not meant for my hearing.
But I cannot forget you no matter how hard I try.
I need comfort, warmth that wont grow cold when the sky is dark.
I am ashamed of how I feel, yet I wish it away.
Please… I cant bear to look anymore.
Why I need it I do not know.
Something I have always needed and now its gone.

As I sink to my knees in despair I can only hope that things will change before I loose myself as I dont possess that much more to loose. Because love encased my soul and fed it to vibrancy. Without it I am cold and my soul shudders.