Drugged, Beaten and Raped – Now What?

I am lonely. My pride was stolen. My wounds are healing so slowly. I am in pain and living in a consistent state of confusion.

I lived through a kidnapping, a few date rape drugs, 22 knife wounds, 4 broken bones, countless bruises and multiple brutal degrading raping.  What now?

I struggle to find myself every morning when I wake up. Who am I now and what do I have left? What now?

Reporters call me everyday. What right do they have to call me and beg for a story over and over again? Sick…

Anyway… I’m alive. What now? I’m clean and sober 2 years, so what! What now?

I wrote this…    but, what now?

**My Grave**

Dirty thoughts and broken laws

filthy lies and sins-

8 years of hiding behind this guilt

Now – The story here begins.

Here – Bound and tied in drying blood

first drugged to make me weak

They beat me, fucked me, teased and taunt me

Ran that knife across my cheek

CHORUS:

This spot – My grave – Unknown

the coldest night of my life

This secret all my own

These men – This crime – This knife

Time ticks so very slow

laying here to die alone

This spot – My grave – Unknown

END CHORUS

My brain ran wild, my heart felt empty

ropes burning my bleeding wrists

My regrets began to quickly pile

creating this painful, endless list…

(A list of regrets grows to unimaginable lengths, as I lay there believing I am dieing… But, I escaped. What now?