Struggling with My Faith

I choose my life to be what I want to be,

No reason to feel regret as long as I feel happy.

I left him behind just because  I have no mercy anymore,

Enough for me to suffer to live in his world,

Which full of sadness and loneliness.

I don’t want to keep on crying, 

To think that I might be right or wrong,

Why should I worry anymore, 

I believe that my dreams will come to be,

It happened so fast just like when you keep on  blinking your eyes,

But it is just, I have a reason to live my life again. 

After trying so much and sacrifice my whole life,

He was unworth to think now.

I used to hate my life and feel hopeless,

To keep my faith alive,  I must be strong.

I just found my peace, even now I am living alone again,

I woke up knowing I am in survival mode.

Every night, every day, I have a very strong talk to God,

Let me be, what I want to be, 

Rather than pretending to be someone who is not me,

Accept me with love just what God does to all,

Love with me honesty, and you will see the real me,

Let me breath peacefully, and let me wake up with my smile,

As for so long I lost myself to do so,

I pray for my strength as I am struggling with defeats and failures,

As normal as I try to be, sometimes it hurts me inside,

With the thought of God who will guide me through these,

I am struggling with my faith,

He will not leave me alone,

He creates me with love,

He is the one and only.

Let Him read my real heart and put me in a better place than before.