My Creative Writing teacher had a very hard time reading this poem. As with most of my poetry, she thought it was amazing, but the whole bit about making a mark, and the fact I even have a date in there (”Tomorrow night”) concerned her. She sat me down and had a long talk with me about it. But her perception of this was that somethings going on at home, or its something that can be helped, but I kept telling her its something that I have to deal with alone, and no one is leading me to suicidal thoughts or anything (I also told her she could take a look at some of my older poetry if she wanted some suicidal works).
So many things are
Running through my head.
But they’re all connected,
All connected,
Into one.
I’m moving so fast
While I’m on stop.
I’m staying awake
While I’m asleep.
I’m looking so free
While I am stuck
On this one thing.
On these many things.
I am stuck!
Stuck inside.
Shut in the dark.
Why do I hide?
No one knows that I’m stuck.
No one seems my tears.
I cover them up!
You wouldn’t believe
What’s happened to me.
Has it led me here?
Possibly.
But I keep moving
As if I weren’t stuck!
Set on PARK!
I’m being handed such guilt.
Will it make a mark
On my life
With a knife
Tomorrow night?
If only eyes could see a dream.
Well, I’d be free.
And have no reason to hide.
No reason to scream.
No reason to cry.
No extreme.
I’d still be stuck.
But only in my dreams.
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